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[Sep. 2nd, 2008|10:14 am] |
I start classes at CCRI tomorrow, have to be up for 6 AM and my first class starts at 9am. That classes gets out at 9:50..and my next one isn't until 12:00 so I'll have almost 2 hrs to kill..with no car..
My own computer is broken..I'm looking to have it fixed. Chris (a co-worker) said he can do it for me when he has the free time. We discussed what was wrong with it and narrowed it down to me needing a new motherboard (yay..no not really). The biggest problem with needing a new mobo is that I might have to make other minor (re: major) upgrades to other components. Which could basically mean just salvaging what I can use out of my computer and basically rebuild a new one. Not something I can afford, nor something I'm looking forward too. I miss my computer. I miss my bookmarked pages, my iTunes, and just the fact that it is my computer.
The funniest part of this all is that I don't really miss WoW. My gamecard expired and I could really careless right now. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that I'm going back to school, I'm really not going to have the time to put into some silly game....granted I'm tempted to pick up Warhammer Online, since new games usually don't hold my attention long enough to distract me from the imporant things.
Anyway, I've gotta get ready to go to work. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2008|12:35 pm] |
Since I haven't updated in forever, I figured I would now.
Let's see, going to CCRI on Monday and gonna register for classes as well as take a placement test. I'm really nervous about this, I haven't been in school in 7 years. I figured for the first semester I'll just take some general ed courses, just so I can get my feet wet a bit. After that I want to take some business management courses and get my Ass. Degree in that, and then from there I want to get one more Ass. Degree I think in computer science. That plan just might change to something else, I want the business management to be a fall back plan, and not my main plan. That way I have two things to help me get better jobs.
Work is still work. Still at Stop and Shop. No guys in the talks at this point in time Still playing WoW, but not nearly as much. With going back to school I can't see myself playing much at all in the near future, my playtime will probably go down to almost nothing. I'll still keep my account going just to have that escape from real life.
Mark and April had their baby either last night or this morning. She went into labor yesterday morning so it must be born by now...Still no clue what they were having, but Andrew is probably very excited about it. Andrew is going to be starting the first grade in about a week and a half. I'm excited for him about that.
Otherwise life has been fairly bland. Just going through the days working and hanging with my son. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2008|11:18 am] |
I'm realizing more and more as Andrew becomes older, that I envisioned a lot of these years with him as a family. Mark, Andrew, and myself.
Andrew will now be 6 on May 11th. I plan on getting him his first bike for his birthday, but that is something I saw Mark and me doing together. And every time something like this comes up I get such mixed feelings about it, I -know- I still care for Mark, I always will and the same probably goes vice-versa.
Mark has Andrew signed up for tee-ball starting in May, I want to get him signed up in the cub-scouts, I think all these activities will be good for the kid. But, it sucks when I realize I'm not gonna be there for every practice, or for games of catch between him and his father.There are some memories that I'm just not going to be apart of, and it's hard to accept that for what it is. This doesn't even include all the memories I'm already not apart of... |
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[Dec. 30th, 2007|11:50 pm] |
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In a bleh mood today, like real bad mood swings and idk why. It's like one minute I'm happy and the next I'm miserable. It might have to do with the fact that I know I'm not gonna be able to see Dan till who knows when since he's working Tuesday thru the weekend basically and I have Thursday at 6pm till Sunday off...and It's my birthday at the end of the week and for some reason that always makes me miserable. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2007|02:06 am] |
Wow, Christmas was great! Dan came over Sunday and we exchanged gifts.. he got me what looks like a really expensive diamond charmed necklace (sterling silver and 6 little tiny diamonds) I haven't taken it off since I got it (for those who really know me know I'm not a jewerly person). I felt cheap after I gave him the two DVDs I bought for him... Everyone though had really really nice things to say about the necklace. Keep in mind we've hardly been dating for 4 months now.
He also bought Andrew a present even though he hadn't ever met him till that morning.
My mom on the other hand bought me an iPod (just a little shuffle one), which I had known about the whole time. And I love it! Granted it was hard to go thru my 1k+ music library and choose 240-270 songs for it. And a few other things I needed. Andrew bought me (with his own money and his own choosing) a pair of pajamas. They're cute :P.
Now for my birthday next week..hoping Mark doesn't screw me over like last year. Speaking of Mark I still haven't told him of Dan, and I know I should, but does it really matter? He also gave me a $20 gift card to dunkin donuts. While I gave him nothing, felt kinda good not to get him a xmas present...but also kinda bad since he did get me something, oh well!
I'm really liking Dan, but the lack of time together starts to get to me at times, I know if I had a car it wouldn't be as much of an issue, but it is at this point in time. I sometimes just want to be able to curl up next to him, or feel him close. I'm starting to become attatched, which I guess is a good thing.. esp since it's taken this long it to start happening. However, I don't think I'd say I loved him yet. I sometimes feel as if I hardly know him. Like I don't know too much about his past or anything, not that it should matter. I also don't really know what some of his pet peeves are or other little things, it might just be the fact that we hardly get to see/spend time together. At the momment I think it's mostly just a physical thing, and I'm ready for it to be more of an emotional one. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2007|11:35 am] |
Leveling a Holy Priest has gotten a bit slow.. (yea bit down and stretched myself a bit thin in the finaces to get a game card). Still haven't seen Dan in what feels like forever.
Work is feeling more forced than ever. From my understanding there's been a lot of smack being talked behind my back. I want to leave there more than ever now, and I can't.
Knee is hurting like hell.. can hardly bend it, but Stop & Shop only cares that I cover my shifts, they don't care about the well being of their employees' at all. Can't believe it took me this long to figure that out.
Least my christmas shopping is basically done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2007|12:44 pm] |
So I go to log into WoW this morning.. and my account isn't active. I was like WTF! so I went to the account management page, and Mark either cancelled or pulled his card out without telling me. Of course not knowing this, I hadn't managed my money with the need to go out and buy a pre-paid card. So now I'm WoWless.
I called out of work yesterday because when I walked home on Thursday night at 8 (in all that snow), I was slipping all over the place and twisted my knee. I remember twisting my knee and then working on it for a week straight at Quizno's than having to be out of work for almost a week because I caused too much damage. Unlike Quizno's if I went into work yesterday I would have been on my feet the entire 7 hr shift (not including having to walk down there). My knee never would have lasted like that, no place to sit at all or to rest my knee. But the point of this story is that when I called (at 9ish am) I got yelled at by the manager who took the call. Yes, yelled at. Like it was my fault I slipped in the horrible weather and twisted my knee. Better yet, I should of gone in and asked my mom for painkillers so when I was there I'd be drugged out of my mind and they would of sent me home. That probabally would of been the better plan, but hey I didn't think they'd appreciate that at all.
The best part was, that I had switched shifts with someone for yesterday (I was suppose to work the 1-8, I took the 5-midnight shift)..which led to me being told I was no longer allowed to switch shifts. Can't wait for someone to really need something changed and they come to me and I look at them and say, sorry I can't switch shifts anymore.
Granted Stop and Shop has been pissing me off a lot as of late, but getting yelled at over the phone for something out of my control is putting me close to over the top with the place. I'll see how it goes today when I go in. I'm halfway hoping she's pissed off at me enough to cut my hours, tired of working 40+ hours a week. And tired of carrying everyone else with work, I work my ass off, my cashiers notice it, they bring it up to me. They bring up the fact that while I do all this crap the other CSS's are usually doing shit. But because of the favoritism that happens in there, nothing will happen even if I had every cashier who brought it up say something to the FE manager. Fuck them. I can't wait to get off the fucking Front End. Just put me else where please ><. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|12:50 pm] |
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Let's see. I received 3 text msgs this morning from Heather. Seems she and her boy-friend have split up and she's moving out of the house. She asked me to get an apartment with her. Which I think I will -if- we can find something reasonably priced and in the area of my job. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2007|08:31 pm] |
I miss Dan.. Last time I got to see him was when he made that stupid post in here. I mean I know I shouldn't really be complaining, but I've become kinda sorta attached to him at this point. He makes me happy and I miss being able to chat with him all the time...damn 3rd shift jobs!
Anyway.. thinking I might have to bite down and ask Mark to take me Christmas shopping..I'm REALLY not looking forward to it, but haven't been able to get in touch with Heather ><. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2007|12:37 pm] |
Hmm. What can I say, it's the holidays and I'm not even overly depressed... First time in a few years. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I am employed this time around and have been for a year now. So I have the ability to go and shop for family and friends. Dan probably plays some role in it as well.
Making dinner tonight..steak tips, rice, sauteed onions and bell peppers and button nose mushrooms.. it should be really really good. |
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| We had FUN! |
[Nov. 29th, 2007|01:22 am] |
Lol. Ok so here's the funny thing, for some reason (still not sure what went through my head at that point) but I let Dan read everything on here, and he started laughing and getting all weird with stuff, but surprisingly took it in good humor (despite the whole rant on his "intellectual stimulation" thing) he's a goofy guy....god I LOVE HIM! :) He gets me blushing EVERY time he calls, no matter how fast he's probably gonna pass out on me now that he works 3rd shift (graveyard....hmmm....wonder if he's a vampire in some weird twisted reality....) Nah, he probably isn't. He's like a freakin giant though....fawker is like 6'4 and TOWERS over me...just to let you know, he's typing this one :) Don't know why I'm letting him, but he's got a goofy ass grin from ear to ear and I'm laughing my ass off this whole time. I kinda sound like a winded chimpmunk when I laugh. But, back to the point at hand, no matter how miserable or bad the day is at work or home, I know I can count on him to make me smile or laugh or giggle (yes, I do that occasionally) and he makes me blush constantly (just ask the people I work with, they see it first hand :P ) He calls, my face goes red, my eyes light up, and I smile and yeah...instant "woohoo's" from the checkout chorus. Either that or I call him and he's all like "What do you want?" or "What now?" But it's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo laced with sarcasm I know he's missed me alot! :) I know, I'm a fruitcake :) But he's a UBER GOOBER! I just think it's the fact that we can't see eachother every day that makes this thing all fun and worthwhile. We talk on WoW all the time and the phone whenever we get a chance (hell, he even tells me to call him on my break when I know he needs to get his sleep) and yes, I feel guilty about it, but I'd rather call and listen to him be half-coherent and pass out on me (which is a lovely feature of his, well, that and he was sleeping one night and I got back from getting a drink, laid down in the bed, and instantly his arms were around me ) but I'd rather hear him pass out on me while talking to me then hear him "playfully" yell at me for not calling (another endearing feature of his) is how he gets me all riled up in a playful "bitching fest" and we both are laughing so hard at the end (well, I'm mostly giggling through the whole damn thing but whatever, it's fun)
What he lacks sometimes in the brain (the one on his neck and shoulders you dips) he more than makes up for in the funny, geeky, goofy, funny, laughing, make me swoon constantly areas. Well....that.....and well, let's just say it's ALL mine when it comes to the bedroom ;-) Though tonight he did say I was like a diesel (meaning, it's takes me a hell of a long time to get started, or going or however the hell he put it) He just asked me (while I'm laughing this whole time) "Admit it, you love this" and I'm just laughing my ass off and all I could say was "Never!" at which point he called me a "biatch" and tickled me lol :) Gotta love his subtle love terms lol. ;-)
Now.....hmm....wonder what kind of ring Stephanie Meyer would have at some point? Kinda sounds good too me...that and if we had any kids, they'd at least be tall enough to play in the NBA and make loads of money to spend on us :).....ok wishful thinking on the NBA and kids thing, but never know. ;-) We'll get all the practice in we can until then ;-) |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2007|10:56 am] |
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So, it's not official, Dan and I are actually a couple or whatever you want to call it. We just haven't gone around really putting a name to it for a while. I was thinking however yesterday afternoon.. that I was bored with him already. In an intellectual way however. My mind is just starved for something other than World of Warcraft discussions and something other than 'how was work, hon?'. Work is always the same it sucked, do you really want me to tell you this every evening? But at the same time.. I smile every time I talk with him, and my day brightens just ever so slightly. These are good things, aren't they? I don't know what to do anymore. Or how to go about it all. I bore easily and I've always known this about myself. I'm also very easily distracted, as well as amused/entertained. I was just hoping he wouldn't bore me in this way. I want to talk about books, movies, food, something other than WoW! It's not a lot to ask for, is it? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2007|01:09 pm] |
So, the other day I informed Dan (the new guy) that I might be moving in with a friend. He then asks 'guy or girl friend'. So of course I ask if it mattered and what I got in return was a 'depends'. Now I'm like ok let's see if I can get him going on this and ask, 'depends on what?' He than says, 'well if it's a guy friend depends if you like him to date him' and such. I'm now dieing inside, and trying to keep my composure. It was great to see he felt slightly jealous there. I mean yea it wasn't nice of me to let it go like that, but was still great. I finally told him after toying around with the jealousness that it was a female friend I would be moving in with and he seemed to of relaxed a bit.
But yea, possibly moving in with Heather in Warwick when I hopefully get a car. Oh and by the way, I'm looking for a car (cheap car).
I've a new obsession now, and that is Emilie Autumn, if you haven't heard her music I highly recommend it. Her voice is just amazing, and her electric violin work is just wow. On top of all that, she's fucking hot. I mean I'd do her.
I've also been slowly realizing that I am a 'closet goth', I don't do the get-ups they wear (come on now, I need to keep my job(s)), but I enjoy the music. Have also found a new interest in Celtic and folk music. Ok, you can stop laughing now. My tastes have just been changing so much, with little to no outside influence.
WoW for the most part has been pleasant, I have a newish BE priest that is 47..quiet close to 48 actually. Only been playing her a bit less than 2 months now. Her name is Lyrical and she resides on Kargath (with Dan's Hunter).
Dan's Birthday is on Thursday and I have to work, but we're gonna see about doing something after the two of us get out of work on Friday. Hopefully it'll all work out and I'll probabally be there for the night..again.
He makes me happy, and he's like right there and he's adorable and just as nerdy as I am. I'm really hoping this all works out. And happy that after a year of him trying I finally said yes to dinner.
Anyway, I'm out have some real life stuff to attend to before heading off to work. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2007|01:10 pm] |
Gonna go do a caffine/soda detox, about once a year I go and try something new to make myself feel better. Did the no meat thing for a very short period of time last year (how you ever talked me into that still amazes me Amber). I tried the caffine/soda thing before and it worked a lot so gonna try it again. Have a 12 pack of Dew in my fridge and that's it. The withdrawls are gonna be nuts, I'm gonna be a moody fucking bitch.. esp with no WoW to keep myself distracted with at the time. But I'll prob end up losing a good 10-15 lbs from cutting it out of my diet and I'll in the long run feel better. Water 4tw.
Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it. After that I'm thinking I might attempt to quit smoking.. but that's gonna be a HUGE step, and only want to take one step at a time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2007|12:56 am] |
Wow.. just fucking wow..
Ok so I almost came close to walking out of my job today.. fucking BS big Corp.. I miss the smaller buisnesses..management is easier to deal with.
Also, I, um, stumbled on my, uh, 'first' on myspace. He's currantally on his 3rd tour to Iraq in the Airforce (he flies Helicopters) And talked with him all afternoon today..one of the things that got me was the following: justwilllav (12:51 PM 04/04/07): I like the MASHT you got there
justwilllav (12:51 PM 04/04/07): You look good
All I could say to it was wow, thanks. I haven't seen the kid in almost 8 years but when we dated I was this tiny little 105 lb thing.. that looked like it could break with ease. And I brought up the fact some where along the line that I didn't look so anorexic anymore, where he must of checked out my pics. Now he is just as hot as ever.. he is a hot guy. And we made plans to hang out when he gets to come back to Prov to visit family.
He mentioned that a couple years back he stopped at my family's old house but only an uncle was living there at the time and wanted to know if I got the msg.. which I hadn't. I brought up the point that I've run into his mom and step-dad a few times and he told me he knew that and that they said I looked happy. We talked about all sorts of stuff.. I mean coffee to jumping out of planes. It was so weird, almost like getting to know him again. Discussed what we each do in our little spare times (he likes cars.. I do the MMORPG thing). Just fucking amazing. Talked about what we've been up to in the last few years. And he geniunly seemed interested. There just might always be some sort of bond there just cause we were each other's 'first' and it was a good first.. lol
I'm rambling silly me. I should go to bed.. Get some decent sleep.. But want to wait till 2ish because I'm waiting for someone on MSN to log in around that time. Even if she'll only be on for a brief momment before going into work. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2007|07:33 pm] |
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Sooo, that guy I said I gave a number too like a month and a half ago is supposedly suddenly interested, yea whatever. I haven't heard anything definite, but the person who told me he hadn't wanted to do the intra-work thing told me he was asking her if I was still interested. I already took the initive so not taking it again, if he is it's his move now. But, it'll only be a get to know each other type thing at first since I've no clue what his interest are or anything like that. Anyway that's it for now. |
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| lol |
[Feb. 24th, 2007|11:19 am] |
Name After I was married/Currant name:
My Name before I was married:
36 people isn't too bad for the first one.. but the second one.. 144 people who had both the first and last name as me before I was married that's scary...a handful of famaos people with the name as well.
My currant name has no famaos people.. which is cool and like I said only 36 others have it anyway, with a name as common as Stephanie I'm kinda surprised. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2007|03:09 am] |
a broad incision sits across the evening
the victim to our father's lost war
the restless children sit and mourn the graves
of those they've never seen before
will they be buried here among the dead?
in the silent secret
the pioneers
in dealing with it they march for dawn...of will and worthy
the truth be told the child was born...
man your own jackhammer
man your battle stations
we'll have you dead pretty soon
sincerely written from my brother's blood machine
man your own battle station
we'll have you home pretty soon
awake through motion
with curiosity to curtain your first move
over arms length they'll break protocol
jealous envy for the youngest one
to be the hero is all i'll ask
can i be buried here among the dead, with room to honor me here in the end?
you'll be better off too soon
you'll be better of when you get home
for you,
i'd do anything just to make you happy, hear you tell me that you're proud of me.
for them,
i'd kill anything cut the throats of babies for them break their hearts for they were
them.
waiting for you to say...i love you too
the navigator
the pilot
her favorite
the one they call the vision that bares the gift
will,
do the children really understand the things you did to them?
and why oh why...
should they conjure up the will for you my love i would kill him
in the seventh turning hour
should the victims shadow fall
will the irony grow hungry?
with victory and all they sought for
we were one among the fence
one among the fence
can we ever forgive love for it's pain
a tragic poem the truth that burns on the brain
the city's sweat is scaring her into her dreams
as the song string to fill her quiet evening.
let me out put your words on fire till i'm gone
I'm unattainable but i am crippled with desire
Don't throw it away from this mother fucking human world
Makes ya wonder why she laughed when i caught her crying
I am not your savior
but i'm crippled with desire
let this smile give her everything she needs
but i'm the song, the song she doesn't want to sing
forgive me as, i burn into the evening.
and run from love, and take the field of pain
in these words, tear in me and make me bleed
With Enmity, that's where you'll come and find me.
light it enters mentally emotion
as i watch the sun fuck the ocean
crying
I am not your savior
but i'm crippled with desire
cuz i'm not your savior
not the wonder..
now i sit here crippled with desire
Desire |
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